I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
