we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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