Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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