physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize