we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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