I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
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