I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
