So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
