...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
