Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
