It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
smell my finger.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
