is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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