JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
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I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
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Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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