dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
