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eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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