If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
