Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize