I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
