I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
