I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
