i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
