What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
