we're blogging at a bar
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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