as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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