love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
