Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
well I can't set my house on fire every night
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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