puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize