I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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