Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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