He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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