Quick, to the slutcave!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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