Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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