TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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