Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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