just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
