He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Ladies don't puke and tell
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
