would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.