Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Reggie can tackle my bush.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.