im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??