i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress