I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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