I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize