it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
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Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
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I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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