I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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