i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
