I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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