FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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