addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
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I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
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Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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