For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
