I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
