How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
