absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
