It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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