do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
