i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
