I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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