Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
