You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
